Freedom of Choice

A recent, seemingly minor incident triggered within me a surprisingly intense reaction.

I attended a poetry reading at which a friend was scheduled to 'read' a body of his works. He prefaced the recitation of each group with some explanatory comment.

Prior to launching into some nostalgic selections about his childhood and his revered immigrant grandfather, he remarked, "My Jewish heritage is very important to me." And the poems which followed seemed to bear that out.

That was the incident, and it roiled me.

"What's wrong with that?" you ask. I'll tell you.

As a true believer in freedom of choice, I can readily accept the fact that he now retains in his daily living no discernible vestige of the Yiddishkeit that he alluded to so favorably in his poetry. There is no ritual, custom or any aspect of our religion that he follows, and does not set foot inside a Jewish house of worship.

Without that comment about his Jewish legacy I wouldn't have known that he retains the slightest liaison with the unique heritage we share. Yet the episode made readily apparent that he feels his childhood Jewish background exerted a salutary influence on him.

My friend is an extremely intelligent, well read, accomplished and decent man whom I like and respect, and I have no problem with the fact that he does not now maintain any observable Jewish connection.

He made his choice.

But what I most strenuously cannot embrace is the fact that he passed none of this "important Jewish heritage" on to his children. They grew up in an a-religious home atmosphere and with no Jewish education or training whatsoever. None of the Jewish holidays were celebrated nor were our rituals and traditions imparted to his youngsters. For them there was not even a revered immigrant grandfather to leave his mark upon their memory.

He gave his children no choice.

If he found his Jewish heritage so vital, why did he not bestow any part of the bounty upon those he fathered?

That's my beef in a nutshell.

Granting that each of us should be privileged to decide whether or not to follow the religion and traditions of his or her ancestors, how can our children exercise their freedom of choice without knowledge? Un-enlightenment supplies no guidance.

So many of our young are sorely lacking in elementary knowledge of their Jewish heritage, history and traditions, and bereft of exposure to the estimable moral and ethical precepts of our religion. No wonder. Less than twenty percent of Jewish youth have any educational foundation which might predispose them in the direction of their Jewish heritage. And, as we get further away generationally from our immigrant forefathers, that link to our Jewish past is no longer a factor. The greena zayda and baube bringing their shtetl traditions, recipes and Yiddishkeit to the New World had a profound effect not only on my friend but on many of my age group.

Sadly, that bridge to our Jewish past has now vanished, leaving an ineffable void.

How can intelligent parents, many of whom still cherish fond memories of their own ethnic past, deprive their children of learning about Jewish traditions, customs, history and even rituals, if you will? Children should (and will) make their own decision as to what spiritual path they will follow in later life, but first give them some initiation into the Jewish experience so they have a basis upon which to make an informed choice.

Without pushing for ritual observance or religion per se, I'm merely advocating information and knowledge transmitted to children as prerequisites for a rational and discriminating choice. Indifference or neutrality on the part of parents is not a fair option because, obviously, kids left to their own devices, would rather play than learn.

Jewish training is as worthwhile as the piano and ballet lessons so lavishly foisted on children by devoted parents. Fear not! Just as few concert pianists or professional ballerinas result from such exposure, likewise few rabbis will emanate from Hebrew lessons. But, a more learned, informed and cultured person may turn up.

Perhaps I am so fervent about exposing our young to Jewish bible study, traditions and history because of what it has meant to me. My early Jewish cheder training has provided a base and a grounding which has stood me in good stead throughout my life in the secular world.

I knew whence I came from and where I stood ethically and morally, and I had no need to seek salvation and balm in any outlandish sect or at the feet of a preposterous guru.

My adherence to Judaism has not required a blind submission of mind and will as some other religions and political doctrines do. In more than one instance it has pointed the appropriate way through some thorny business and professional situations; and, on other occasions, to solace and spiritual comfort and renewal in trying personal dilemmas and tragedies.

Lacking any knowledge of Jewish religion or history, plus no perceptible connection to the past, traditions and customs of their ancestors, is it any wonder that so many of our youth opt out without a struggle and passively leave the fold? Yet, many of these young people find the void in their life excruciating and seek succor and salvation elsewhere — whether it be another religion or political creed or drugs.

It may be difficult for parents who themselves no longer believe in adhering to any facet of our religion and traditions to insure that some such training and guidance be imparted to their progeny, but elemental fairness requires it.

If, despite its majestic past, Jewishness is to fade away, let it be by cognitive choice and not by inertia.

As we approach the solemn and reflective Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur High Holy Days of the year 5747, it would behoove parents and grandparents to consider whether they are not shortchanging their children and grandchildren by not affording them a Jewish education and training. Let them know our Jewish history, our moral precepts our ethical teachings, and our illustrious traditions — and then let those children make their own free choice.

What's wrong with that?